How could you help this little girl?

I thought of writing about this event to my blog for a quite a long time. Some how I lost touch with it. Today, suddenly this has popped in my mind. I decided to do the writing immediately as I don’t want to let this experience of mine go out of my awareness. I feel an urge to share it with my readers.

I remember that day very well

It was Tuesday afternoon. I was in my consulting room and  noticed that an appointment was booked for a little girl of 10 years old. I finished my regular mail checking and other administrative work in my office before she arrived for her consultation.

A little girl with her uncle

She was brought to me by her uncle as she was remaining sad and not communicating enough with her family members. She spent time alone and would talk only when it was extremely necessary for getting some work done. Her uncle also told me that she would gaze out of her bedroom’s window for a long. Sometimes she would cry for a long and was difficult to help at that time.

She wasn’t always like that. She had witnessed her parents dying in a vehicular accident. They were returning back home from a holiday break and met with an accident. She was the only survivor of that incidence.

Face to face with her Continue reading How could you help this little girl?

How to outgrow Life’s repetitive problems

Thinking about a life without problems is an illusion. My personal and clients’ experiences have helped me get this insight.

In life, we may come across some problems that repetitively appear in our lives. We try to fix them, they disappear for a brief period and show their faces again later in life.

I tried to fight with these repetitive problems in my  life. I tried to fix them but some of them kept on coming. I also experienced that whenever I found myself on the way, speeding up, towards my goals; something would happen to derail me.

Is it a pattern within me that brings those difficult moments back into my life?

I have now grasped the meaning behind these repetitive painful experiences in my life.

Why is it so?

What are they?

How to deal with them?

How did I deal with them initially

Earlier I worked with my negative feelings and thoughts with cognitive and behavioral therapy approach. The feelings and thoughts which were disempowering, were my Automatic Negative Thoughts and resultant emotional experiences, I believed. I explained to myself that these ANTs and associated feelings are the results of my dysfunctional beliefs and paying them importance is strengthening my negative beliefs. So, I learned to ignore them. I just let them pass through my mind without attaching any judgment to them but acknowledging them as ANTs. Continue reading How to outgrow Life’s repetitive problems