It takes courage. It takes faith. It takes commitment to apply.
Time that tests your patience
It is the time when things are not in your control. You have worked hard and still Life is not turning the way you want it to. You may start doubting whether you really have control over things in your life or the events happen randomly and you are there just to respond to them!
This time fills your heart with feelings of disappointment, frustration and also hopelessness at times. You start wondering how much more life asks from me. Am I going to live my whole life this way? Struggling and working to find ways how to make it happen and never making it happen?!
You may even start doubting your worthiness to receive what you want in your life.
You are committed and ready to learn and apply whatever it takes but sometimes do not find any clue for it.
I am a believer of the philosophy that says that, the outside events in our lives are the results of what is going on inside us. This belief further reinforces the above mentioned feelings of despair for some; as you tend to blame yourself for things not going well in your life.
If all these resonate with your life situation any time, read on. I hope you shall find useful insights into this.
The actual problem can get masked
The problem can get masked and you may never go nearer to your desires in reality, if we deny our life situation. It may initially sound counter intuitive to your preconceived belief about positive thinking. People tend to misinterpret the concept of Positive Thinking. Denying reality and masking your feelings of disapointment is the path leading you nowhere. To move beyond your current life situation and approaching your desired life, you need to first accept your present reality and face it head on.
I do not advocate here to dwell upon what is not working for you. Far from it! I suggest here not to avoid facing the real life situation and becoming defensive about it.
For example, if you find that your relationship is not going as you want, do not pretend externally that things are Ok and keep your feelings locked inside. If finances are going out of your control and things are not working in your favour, accept that too!
I repeat that this may seem counter intuitive to the common sayings about positive thinking. But, let me tell you that denial of reality and forcefully holding the image of ‘everything’s ok’ is not what the positive thinking is all about. This is creating a mask under which the feelings of negativity grows and further creates more negative outcomes for you in your life. Moreover, blaming others for your current life situation is also one way of defending your present life circumstances and also not taking the responsibility and accountability of your life’s outcomes.
I suggest you to meet the reality head on. Accepting that things are not working as you want them to be and getting in tune with your true feelings is the first step in creating the future you want.
There is a difference between dwelling and ruminating about things not working in life, and acknowledging the fact and taking control of creating the future of your desires.
Let me tell you how things can be worked out in this situation:
- Acknowledging the fact
Be honest and accept what is currently going on in your reality. Acknowledge the fact that the external reality is currently different from what you truly want it to be. There is incongruence between what you want and what is coming into your life!
- Avoid blaming
Avoid blaming others for this discrepancy seen in your life; instead look within for the ways to dissolve any conflict that is creating incongruence.
- Be gentle with yourself
Like avoiding blaming others, do not blame yourself for current situation. Blaming yourself and punishing is not the way, rather being accountable and taking responsibility is. Learning to note the difference between these two is important here.
- Do not doubt your worthiness
If you do not get what you want in your life does not mean you are unworthy of getting it. It only means that you are yet to figure out how to get it! Your worthiness to get what you want in life is not dependent upon what you currently have. You are already as much worthy as anyone else because you have come into existence from the same source. You deserve what you want beyond any doubt.
- Having faith, Visualizing and Taking action
Hold the mountain-moving faith and use visualization to create the image of a life you truly want. Visualize that all people around you are getting what they want in their lives and you are becoming the part of this whole process that is unfolding.
Take actions in the direction of your desired life, even though it is tough to do so. Keep moving, have faith, remain flexible and the life will slowly change.
Robert Schuller has rightly said to describe this state in his book-
- Exercise courage
You may need to exercise courage in place of fear. Shifting reality is moving out of your comfort zone. If you are not willing from within to face the fear head on and act courageously, this may be the reason for life to take long to deliver what you truly want.
- Be receptive to accept any help coming to you from outside
Sometimes you may tend to get so much defensive about your life’s situation that the genuine help can also be ignored or rejected by you without being aware about its potential to make changes in your life.
- Opportunity to learn
Reaffirm that the time of difficulties is the time of learning, if you choose to make it so. The difficulties pop up because there are things to learn.
- Remind yourself about the purpose of your life
I believe that we are here on this planet to experience the reality in this physical self. But, we are spiritual beings having human experience. The life here helps our spiritual beings grow by learning from our experiences. Keeping myself aware about this realization helps me persist in difficult times. I can choose to believe that the experiences that I am currently having are required for me to grow and the learning from this will help me become more congruent with my desires. The more congruent you are with your desires, faster the external reality turns into your favour.
Persisting in difficult times,
Creating a Resourceful Life,
Dr. Sudeep Shroff