I did not know anything about Guitar before 8 months. My brain did not have any idea about what it is and how to get tuned with it. No learning!
Somehow, I don’t know what happened on that day but myself and my wife thought of learning Guitar. MY father was learning classical music from a teacher who used to come to our place and I happened to ask him about a Guitar teacher. He said he knew one and would send him to meet us. That’s it! A new chapter was added to our lives.
New experiences coming into my life
I noticed that new things have started happening in my life. I started noticing music around my life which initially I never observed. I started listening to the background music very closely in any TV advertisement and in any song I would listen to.
I realized that these things were there around me all the time, but I had never noticed them before. Now they have started becoming the part of my life.
I never looked at videos containing guitar training in YouTube and now I have channels subscribed in my account talking about Guitar.
Just by thinking and taking action in a new direction made lots of changes in my life.
The real contact with Guitar
The period of excitement ended and real training with a teacher started at our home. I loved the way some guitar notes I played. Although it was a broken music, I liked as it was coming out of guitar due to my fingers dancing on its strings. I learned few scales and also some songs. I bought a new amplifier. I started learning from few online classes too. I would get dreams of playing guitar and practice in the same way next morning.
Things getting tough
Initial few classes I enjoyed but then things started getting difficult. I started getting tired after each class. The tiredness was in addition to the pain my fingers and shoulders would have.
Instead of enjoying my classes, I realized that I was getting exhausted at the end. The thought of the activity that created waves of excitement for me few days back was now becoming burdensome and I was carrying it for the sake of doing so.
My mind pushed me for few more weeks by telling me that it was not good on my part if I stopped in between. “That’s a defeat”, my critical mind told me. I just continued.
The practice time I spent with Guitar also started decreasing day by day. After every practice session, I felt disappointment and despair.
I told myself that it was tough. It was not that easy I thought initially. The fun from the process of playing Guitar was gradually going down. It became the activity that I was supposed to do as one of my ‘shoulds and musts’; not because I was enjoying it.
I compared my self with expert guitarists playing Guitar. That made me think that I had not even started walking, I was just attempting to crawl! I saw some YouTube videos and told myself, “you are nothing in front of this players. Sudeep, It takes lots of commitment and practice before you can start playing sensibly.” I did not know why I was comparing that way. My aim was never to be an expert in Guitar. I actually started just for the sake of enjoyment and let my creativity get a way out.
I left playing! Yes that is true. After getting involved for two months, I left playing Guitar completely. I asked my teacher not to come and suddenly I felt relieved!
I could not understand why I felt so. In the beginning when I started to learn, I could not stop thinking about the next class and new information to absorb and apply. Then it was relief when I disengaged myself from the activity. What was that?
My teacher was also happy with me as I could absorb difficult musical concepts easily. Yes, the theory of music. Let me tell You here that I have always been good at learning new concepts. If I don’t understand anything, I will search for the answers without getting tired. My teacher did not get any surprise when I asked him not to come by giving reasons that I could not spare time for learning Guitar.
Reconnecting with Guitar
A month back, when I was feeling very tired after my work, I looked at my Guitar quietly standing in the corner of my bedroom. I did not have any energy to think why I had left it few months back. I was driven by some force and I started playing it once again. My fingers did not settle on its strings easily as they left touch with it. Yes, but I liked the sound those strings produced. I felt good. I was not playing anything sensible but was loving whatever I was doing. I slowly started getting absorbed into the activity of playing.
After sometime I noticed that my tiredness went away. I felt better about life as a whole. I was living those moments fully.
I received valuable insights from my experience on that day. Thereafter I have restarted playing Guitar regularly. Now I approach my playing with new perspectives. I enjoy those moments. I live those moments completely.
What has changed?
What insights I have got?
What has it to do with my LIFE as a whole?
I shall be sharing them in part 2 of this post.
If you wish to share your comments on my post up to this stage, please feel free to do so in the comments section below.
Dr. Sudeep Shroff