Today, after a gap of a week, I am back to posting an article to this site. For one week, I worked on some technical aspects of this and my other blogs. I tried to write a post two to three times in between, but could not post as I did not find myself congruent with what I wanted to say.
I face difficulties in finding words and phrases that appropriately convey my intentions and meanings. I am sure that this shall also pass as I am presently living my life more congruently than before, so I shall also learn about more congruent ways of expressing my ideas. It has been a common experience with me ( I hope I am not alone!) that I write a paragraph and realize that this is not actually what I want to say. So, I have to rewrite it again. Now, I have decided that I need to keep on posting more articles and in the process, it shall improve.
Today’s topic has always been in mind since I first decided to write about personal development.I believe that for most of us, the journey of personal growth begins when we seriously consider this question: What is the purpose of my life? When I asked myself this for the first time, a second curious question popped up inside my mind- What is life? I intend to share my insights about this issue in this post.
An event that made me think
Once when I went with my wife to her hospital, as she had to attend a case of spontaneuous abortion, I got a lift in my journey of spiritual growth. I had attended child birth processes during my medical college years. However, when I saw the abortus on that day, it made me think on this topic- the pupose of my life. Now I believe that if we are not ready from within to walk a path of personal growth, no event or experience can make you realize its importance. I say this because I attended and assisted these procedures before also as a medical student, but I never thought that they can help me learn about life in such a big way!
On that day, the insight I gained was:
“Oh…. once I was also like that abortus! Everything went well for me from that point onwards and so today, I am physically alive! So, what is life by the way? Why am I here in first place? I have come in to my present physical self from a single cell. What if my fate would also have been like that of an abortus? The thoughts did not stop even for a moment that night. I felt connected with that abortus! Out of that brainstorming I gained a new perspective of life.
I learned that:
- One day, it is for sure that, I will not exist as this physical self. I do not know when that day will come for me. My physical self will cease to exist and I will not again be same as what I am right now. This moment can come anytime. May be today, may be tomorrow or may be after many years! No one can tell me the exact time for that. So the purpose of my life should be to live every moment that I get to live to its fullest. I have some years left for me on this planet with this physical self to create my own life experiences. I have two options:
- I continue to live life as I am currently living. It is fine. No major issues. I have studied and aquired a post grauduate medical degree. I have my private consulting practice. My wife also runs her hospital. Son is studying in a very good school of the city. My parents are also doctors and have earned and invested enough money so that I do not have their financial liabilities. A very well settled life as per social expectations. But I feel that it is not what I really really want!
- I take an another path of exploring and growing. I accept and respect what has been taught to me about life till today by the conditioners in different forms (parents, teachers, care givers, well wishers, relatives and all others). However, I commit to myself from this point onwards that If something from that conditoning is not working for me, I will search for alternative options, experiment with them, create my own experiences and integrate them into my mental framework. I can choose to live this way because this is my life! I have got it for few years. I shall be living every moment of this existence resourcefully!
- My true existnece can not just be this body that i have learned to identify with. My true essence should be something that had been with me even when I was in my mother’s womb; the time when i was not properly figured out into this physical self. My true essence was there in my parents’ germ cells. But from where that got inside those cells! I kept on stretching my mind’s limits. I went on to think about my ancestors and their ancestors and explored the history of universe and I could not reach to an end with any logical answers. I then realized that my life should not only be what I can perceive with my physical senses but beyond that. That means the purpose of my life should not only be living for my physical self’s needs but also taking care and working for the non-physical needs of myself and others.
- I am a very fortunate person. I could also have left this planet inside my mother’s womb! I realized that I am living right now, as this physical self, is the biggest reason and proof for me to feel grateful.
- My other fellow human beings are also fortunate like me. I think that all who have come into this physcial existence are fortunate enough to get a chance to create their lives. We should remember that many could not manage to even come into this physical plane.
- I do not know where I will go after I leave this physical self. I do not know whether I will be having any control over myself when I will leave this world. When I considered this point, It become obvious to me that there are many things I know I have a control over in this world! I am not that much victimized as I thought before! I am actually lucky and in control of many things about my life.
- We all have same destination in the end and that, right now in my understanding, is to die and leave this world. This is same for all! In the end we shall get the same outcome. So actually, the purpose of life can not only be the outcomes that we desire but should be the process that we go through in our lives.
I think that the window of self realization has opened for me after that incidence. I still continue to find new insights and wisdom when ever I get connected to that abortus. I owe to it for my learing! I feel that now I have realized how to find purpose in anything I do. It is like I have found a stream of endless awareness and insights. I can dive into it anytime to find the purpose of my being.