How To Befriend With The Critic Inside You!

For a perfectionist like me, getting in terms with the Internal Critic was very difficult initially. For many years, I was not aware about its existence! I did not realize that my choices in life were determined by the Internal Critic.

Who is this Internal Critic that I am talking about?

We have our own internal voice that keeps check on what we do and how we do anything in life. Yes, it’s a part of our Conditioned Mind. (yes, this is very abstract! 🙂

If it is not there, it is also not desirable. It’s because, then you won’t have a part of you assessing your performance and guiding you based on the feedback you get.

As we know that the feedback and opinions given by others about our performance can really be helpful, provided they are unbiased and intended for helping and growing. The same way the feedback and criticism that this so-called Internal Critic provides us can be beneficial in our journey called life.

For some (like me), the Internal Critic is over-critical and biased. This bias exists because of our early life experiences. The mind is conditioned in such a way that the Critic finds faults with you and your life most of the time. Appreciating your work and yourself is a rare event in this scenario! Continue reading How To Befriend With The Critic Inside You!

Taking Inspired Actions For Creating A Resourceful Life

Taking actions are important in life to influence the Life. This is very easy to grasp for the most, but difficult to implement.

Why is it like that?

Why is it that you can grasp it easily, but when it comes to implementation, it is not that easy to do…

I have experienced that taking actions improves my vision. In life, you may not always be able to see things upto their ends. So waiting for things to clear in front of your Mind’s eyes, and then take steps is the prescription to wait for ever.

Procrastinating Lifestyle and Immobilized Mindset

When we have dreams, actions are the next steps to make them a Reality. We know that. Initially you may take actions to make them happen, but to persist requires a different mindset to adopt.

We need feedback for our actions. We need to see that the steps that we take are taking us closer to our goals. When you see that things are not moving forward, it is common for us to get frustrated. Most of us leave at this point. We lose faith in the process and change the course of our life.

How can I know that the actions I am taking are the correct ones that will take me to my goals?

When frustration takes over us, we tend to discard all our efforts as useless. We then become over-critical of what we do. We then need to be very sure before we start taking steps! This is the beginning of our Procrastinating Lifestyle. Continue reading Taking Inspired Actions For Creating A Resourceful Life

Is Day Dreaming Helpful?

There are different opinions about Day Dreaming. One group may say that Day Dreaming is a waste of time. People can do much more by taking actions than day dreaming. The people in other group favors the process of day dreaming. And an another third group, as in any other case, has no sure side to take.

I believe that actions are critical in creating something useful in the World we experience through our Mind. Just thinking about something can not make it happen. It can create opportunities for you, take you closure to your goals but if you don’t grab those opportunities or take some actions, you are not actually impacting the Reality you live in.

At the same time, I believe that Day Dreaming is equally important. Here I am talking about Day Dreaming as a Visualizing Process that triggers new connections inside your brain. If you want to make an impact in your Reality with something which you have not yet learned, Day Dreaming can really help you preparing your brain for the same.

What is Empowering Day Dreaming?

Continue reading Is Day Dreaming Helpful?

7 tips to remain on track while creating the life you desire

It is easy to get distracted. It is also common to get trapped in our limiting beliefs and habitual patterns of thinking, feeling and acting.

Starting out on a path to create the life of your desire is easy. We get motivated by reading a good book or listening to an inspiring speech or watching someone doing things we want to do. This initial spark is easy to create now a days. The problem is remaining on track consistently and creating the output we truly want in our lives.

Does that sound familiar?

I have experienced it often. Of course, as I grow and learn more, the easier it is becoming for me to come back on the track. I have observed that there are some specific measures that I take (sometimes consciously and at other times without my awareness) that puts me back on the course I have committed myself to. This random measures are becoming more identifiable and easy to apply as I get more chances to implement them.

Let’s explore:

1. Taking a break

Continue reading 7 tips to remain on track while creating the life you desire

Why am I attracting accidents in my life nowadays?

For last one week, I am attracting vehicular accidents in my life! I have been driving a car for last 15-16 years but such experiences (with conscious awareness) have never been so close to one another any time before.

In last week, it happened with me three to four times. Every time the experience was different and made me think differently. Some of you may find this funny to write or document about. But, I am feeling the need to do so.

First experience- No fault of mine (everyone thinks like that, you may say)

I was in my car at a traffic junction. The place was really a crowded one on a rainy Saturday evening. I was tired and returning from a journey of around 100 kilometers.

Suddenly I noticed that a car (bigger than mine!) came out from a nearby street and took a turn to join the cars standing at that traffic junction. There was not a much space to accommodate it besides my car, yet the driver tried to get in a narrow space.

I found him very restless. Through my closed window I waved him and asked him to wait till the traffic moves from that signal point. As he noticed that the red light turned into green, he could not wait but to accelerate his car.

As I told before, there was no space for him to go ahead and he finally scratched the side of my car.

Now I opened the windows and reacted by telling him that he was quite impatient and has created a damage to me.

There was a real blast from him! He got angry, started shouting and abusing me for no fault of mine. I saw that there was impatience, urgency, irresponsibility and lack of character with him.

I saw his wife (I assume!) sitting beside him. I could perceive that she knew what was going on with his husband but was seen as a helpless spectator (I think she might have had similar experiences many times before).

Realizing that there won’t be much achieved by getting more involved with the person who was not in his senses, I decided to move on.

Continue reading Why am I attracting accidents in my life nowadays?

How to outgrow Life’s repetitive problems

Thinking about a life without problems is an illusion. My personal and clients’ experiences have helped me get this insight.

In life, we may come across some problems that repetitively appear in our lives. We try to fix them, they disappear for a brief period and show their faces again later in life.

I tried to fight with these repetitive problems in my life. I tried to fix them but some of them kept on coming. I also experienced that whenever I found myself on the way, speeding up, towards my goals; something would happen to derail me.

Is it a pattern within me that brings those difficult moments back into my life?

I have now grasped the meaning behind these repetitive painful experiences in my life.

Why is it so?

What are they?

How to deal with them?

How did I deal with them initially

Earlier I worked with my negative feelings and thoughts with cognitive and behavioral therapy approach. The feelings and thoughts which were disempowering, were my Automatic Negative Thoughts and resultant emotional experiences, I believed. I explained to myself that these ANTs and associated feelings are the results of my dysfunctional beliefs and paying them importance is strengthening my negative beliefs. So, I learned to ignore them. I just let them pass through my mind without attaching any judgment to them but acknowledging them as ANTs. Continue reading How to outgrow Life’s repetitive problems

Balancing- What you should be and What you are

(This is an unedited post. I have not done its spell and grammar check. It was high time that I did not continue with posting. Of course, I grew in other areas of my life during these days. I realized today that I have a commitment towards this blog and its few readers. So I decided to shoot the one directly from my heart.)

People have tendency to motivate themselves by feeling pain in their current life situations. This creates the impetus for them to move away from where they are right now. This is one way of going for your desires. We have been conditioned to think and act this way.

The focus in this way of living is to move towards what you should be, and constantly feeling unhappy about your current situations in life. This is generally a process occurring in your psyche outside your conscious awareness. There may not be an intention to deal with the life this way. But, this is the way it is for the most.

The critical aspect that is missing here is the acknowledgment what you are. You devalue your current self. You obsessively tend to focus towards something different and more attractive aspects of yourself that has not yet manifested in your present self.

The excessive and obsessive focus on What you should be than What you are! Continue reading Balancing- What you should be and What you are

Find and live your true-self

Life can be lived in two ways:

1. In the way our conditioned-self directs us to take on

2. We find our purpose and our true-self and design our lives based on the direction that we get after aligning with our true-selves.

The first way is the most natural (?) way of living for most of us. We live our lives based on the beliefs and assumptions that are programmed inside us by our family members, teachers and other environmental influences. We accept this learning without our conscious awareness. We learn this because we were taught to think and behave in specific ways and also by observing people around us living and thinking about life in their own ways.

The mind in our early lives was like a sponge. It absorbed what ever it was offered to. The more consistently and intensively something was offered, the more impact that left on our psyche. People who played critical role in our lives did not have any wrong intention, in most of the cases, to affect us negatively. Yet, they pass their negative (better word is: dis-empowering or maladaptive) life patterns to us without knowing the process happening.

Have you ever felt that you could be doing something different than what you are currently working with and spending your time and energy on?

Have you ever felt deep inside you the need to take a different path than what you are currently walking on?

Continue reading Find and live your true-self

Learning lessons of Life while learning a Guitar- part 2

It takes time

Making things happen in your reality takes time. Your thoughts attract towards you the events and circumstances that are actual match to your desires. The universe is ready to help you fulfilling your wishes but you need to work on releasing the resistance that is stopping the reality to emerge.

If you know the right method the process is faster

I tried making the process of learning enjoyable and faster by getting involved with various tutorials and course online along with my teacher at home. Various people told about doing things in their own way. When I found the method that is working for me, the growth was accelerated. This does not mean what others said was false. It does mean that I am required to find the ways that work for me.

Work in small chunks

I have noticed that when someone is very much passionate about something, he works really hard and for long hours for making things happen. I have learned from my experience that whenever your brain needs to make changes, it is more useful to work in small chunks. Rather than pushing yourself very hard to get things done in a single session, it helps if you do things consistently in small chunks. That has worked for me in learning Guitar. I applied that to other areas of my life and it worked there also.

Observe others who are doing well but do not compare Continue reading Learning lessons of Life while learning a Guitar- part 2

Learning lessons of Life while learning a Guitar- part1

I did not know anything about Guitar before 8 months. My brain did not have any idea about what it is and how to get tuned with it. No learning!

Somehow, I don’t know what happened on that day but myself and my wife thought of learning Guitar. MY father was learning classical music from a teacher who used to come to our place and I happened to ask him about a Guitar teacher. He said he knew one and would send him to meet us. That’s it! A new chapter was added to our lives.

New experiences coming into my life

I noticed that new things have started happening in my life. I started noticing music around my life which initially I never observed. I started listening to the background music very closely in any TV advertisement and in any song I would listen to.

I realized that these things were there around me all the time, but I had never noticed them before. Now they have started becoming the part of my life.

I never looked at videos containing guitar training in YouTube and now I have channels subscribed in my account talking about Guitar.

Just by thinking and taking action in a new direction made lots of changes in my life.

The real contact with Guitar Continue reading Learning lessons of Life while learning a Guitar- part1