Archive | Spirituality

Living Your True-self


We are given our identity by the people around us since we are born. We are identified by our parents, place of birth, the culture we are born in and by our physical appearance. The questions that I always ask to myself  are:

who was Ibefore I received this identity?

How was I identified then?

Did I really have some some identity before this?

Did I really exist before this?

Thniking becomes more metaphysical when you dive into this kind of exploration. For some, it may be anxiety provoking. Yes, it is, because you dive into the pool of uncertainty! People tend to avoid it due to  the fear of getting lost.

I intend to make things simple here. I have written before about it in my post- Find And Live Your True-self.  I am sure that this post shall bring some more clarity to this.

The person whom I admire much, Dr. Wayne Dyer says things in an easy to understand way in this matter. He tells that,

the problem starts when we over-identify with our Ego-self (the self that we learn to be ourself since we are born) and forget about our True Nature.

He asks us to think about how gracefully we were taken care of when we were inside our mothers’ womb. We get into the ‘form’ from ‘non-form’ and grows at the speed and on the path designed by some mysterious power. We just surrender ourselves to the process and let it happen. We stop surrendering when we grow up!

The medical science is also fascinated by the process of our intra-uterine journey- the time from conception to birth! At a precise moment we come into ‘being‘ and  then live on this planet for decades.
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Have You Read This In Times Of India?


We need information that triggers inside us our dormant potential. We constantly look for that information. What we look for, we find it in our environment.

For last few days, life was going tough. Somehow my consciousness was clouded with negative expectations and was vibrating at a frequency that was not taking me closer to the life I always wanted. Unknowingly, I think, I was trapped with emotional turmoil and resisting the experience that was unfolding inside me.

Then, today, I came across this article in Times of India. It is written in a simple, short paragraphs telling various aspects of how life can be turned into a Good Life. I found that article very timely for me to change my perspective. I knew things but was not implementing them!

The article also quotes some well-known persons who share their understanding about how to make your life good. To name few of them are Deepak Chopra, Pritish Nandy, Shobhaa De, Chetan Bhagat and others.

The good thing about the article is that it covers almost all the most important ingredients to make life good and resourceful. I want to add words to some of those. These I have found very much related to my own life and learning.

Importance of Sleep

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7 tips to remain on track while creating the life you desire

It is easy to get distracted. It is also common to get trapped in our limiting beliefs and habitual patterns of thinking, feeling and acting.

Starting out on a path  to create the life of your desire is easy. We get motivated by reading a good book or listening to an inspiring speech or watching someone doing things we want to do. This initial spark is easy to create now a days. The problem is remaining on track consistently and creating the output we truly want in our lives.

Does that sound familiar?

I have experienced it often. Of course, as I grow and learn more, the easier it is becoming for me to come back on the track. I have observed that there are some specific measures that I take (sometimes consciously  and at other times without my awareness) that puts me back on the course I have committed myself to. This random measures are becoming more identifiable and easy to apply as I get more chances to implement them.

Let’s explore:

1. Taking a break

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Why am I attracting accidents in my life nowadays?

For last one week, I am attracting vehicular accidents in my life! I have been driving a car for last 15-16 years but such experiences (with conscious  awareness) have never been so close to one another any time before.
In last week, it happened with me three to four times. Every time the experience was different and made me think differently. Some of you may find this funny to write or document about. But, I am feeling the need to do so.

First experience- No fault of mine (everyone thinks like that, you may say)

I was in my car at a traffic junction. The place was really a crowded one on a rainy Saturday evening. I was tired and returning from a journey of around 100 kilometers.

Suddenly I noticed that a car (bigger than mine!) came out from a nearby street and took a turn to join the cars standing at that traffic junction. There was not a much space to accommodate it besides my car, yet the driver tried to get in a narrow space.

I found him very restless. Through my closed window I waved him and asked him to wait till the traffic moves from that signal point. As he noticed that the red light turned into green, he could not wait but to accelerate his car.

As I told before, there was no space for him to go ahead and he finally scratched the side of my car.

Now I opened the windows and reacted by telling him that he was quite impatient and has created a damage to me.

There was a real blast from him! He got angry, started shouting and abusing me for no fault of mine. I saw that there was impatience, urgency, irresponsibility and lack of character with him.

I saw his wife (I assume!) sitting beside him. I could perceive that she knew what was going on with his husband but was seen as a helpless spectator (I think she might have had similar experiences many times before).

Realizing that there won’t be much achieved by getting more involved with the person who was not in his senses, I decided to move on.

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How could you help this little girl?

I thought of writing about this event to my blog for a quite a long time. Some how I lost touch with it. Today, suddenly this has popped in my mind. I decided to do the writing immediately as I don’t want to let this experience of mine go out of my awareness. I feel an urge to share it with my readers.

I remember that day very well

It was Tuesday afternoon. I was in my consulting room and  noticed that an appointment was booked for a little girl of 10 years old. I finished my regular mail checking and other administrative work in my office before she arrived for her consultation.

A little girl with her uncle

She was brought to me by her uncle as she was remaining sad and not communicating enough with her family members. She spent time alone and would talk only when it was extremely necessary for getting some work done. Her uncle also told me that she would gaze out of her bedroom’s window for a long. Sometimes she would cry for a long and was difficult to help at that time.

She wasn’t always like that. She had witnessed her parents dying in a vehicular accident. They were returning back home from a holiday break and met with an accident. She was the only survivor of that incidence.

Face to face with her Continue Reading →

How to outgrow Life’s repetitive problems

Thinking about a life without problems is an illusion. My personal and clients’ experiences have helped me get this insight.

In life, we may come across some problems that repetitively appear in our lives. We try to fix them, they disappear for a brief period and show their faces again later in life.

I tried to fight with these repetitive problems in my  life. I tried to fix them but some of them kept on coming. I also experienced that whenever I found myself on the way, speeding up, towards my goals; something would happen to derail me.

Is it a pattern within me that brings those difficult moments back into my life?

I have now grasped the meaning behind these repetitive painful experiences in my life.

Why is it so?

What are they?

How to deal with them?

How did I deal with them initially

Earlier I worked with my negative feelings and thoughts with cognitive and behavioral therapy approach. The feelings and thoughts which were disempowering, were my Automatic Negative Thoughts and resultant emotional experiences, I believed. I explained to myself that these ANTs and associated feelings are the results of my dysfunctional beliefs and paying them importance is strengthening my negative beliefs. So, I learned to ignore them. I just let them pass through my mind without attaching any judgment to them but acknowledging them as ANTs. Continue Reading →

Balancing- What you should be and What you are

(This is an unedited post. I have not done its spell and grammar check. It was high time that I did not continue with posting. Of course, I grew in other areas of my life during these days. I realized today that I have a commitment towards this blog and its few readers. So I decided to shoot the one directly from my heart.)

People have tendency to motivate themselves by feeling pain in their current life situations. This creates the impetus for them to move away from where they are right now. This is one way of going for your desires. We have been conditioned to think and act this way.

The focus in this way of living is to move towards what you should be, and constantly feeling unhappy about your current situations in life. This is generally a process occurring in your psyche outside your conscious awareness. There may not be an intention to deal with the life this way. But, this is the way it is for the most.

The critical aspect that is missing here is the acknowledgment what you are. You devalue your current self. You obsessively tend to focus towards something different and more attractive aspects of yourself that has not yet manifested in your present self.

The excessive and obsessive focus on What you should be than What you are! Continue Reading →

Find and live your true-self

Life can be lived in two ways:

1. In the way our conditioned-self directs us to take on

2. We find our purpose and our true-self and design our lives based on the direction that we get after aligning with our true-selves.

The first way is the most natural (?) way of living for most of us. We live our lives based on the beliefs and assumptions that are programmed inside us by our family members, teachers and other environmental influences. We accept this learning without our conscious awareness. We learn this because we were taught to think and behave in specific ways and also by observing people around us living and thinking about life in their own ways.

The mind in our early lives was like a sponge. It absorbed what ever it was offered to. The more consistently and intensively something was offered, the more impact that left on our psyche. People who played critical role in our lives did not have any wrong intention, in most of the cases, to affect us negatively. Yet, they pass their negative (better word is: dis-empowering or maladaptive) life patterns to us without knowing the process happening.

Have you ever felt that you could be doing something different than what you are currently working with and spending your time and energy on?

Have you ever felt deep inside you the need to take a different path than what you are currently walking on?

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How to persist when Life takes its own time

It takes courage. It takes faith. It takes commitment to apply.

Time that tests your patience

It is the time when things are not in your control. You have worked hard and still Life is not turning the way you want it to. You may start doubting whether you really have control over things in your life or the events  happen randomly and you are there just to respond to  them!

This time fills your heart with feelings of disappointment, frustration and also hopelessness at times. You start wondering how much more life asks from me. Am I going to live my whole life this way? Struggling and working to find ways how to make it happen and never making it happen?!

You may even start doubting your worthiness to receive what you want in your life.

You are committed and ready to learn and apply whatever it takes but sometimes do not find any clue for it.

I am a believer of the philosophy that says that, the outside events in our lives are the results of what is going on inside us. This belief further reinforces the above mentioned feelings of despair for some; as you tend to blame yourself for things not going well in your life.

If all these resonate with your life situation any time, read on. I hope you shall find useful insights into this.

The actual problem can get masked
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Fixing Vs. Expressing Yourself

What’s your way of living?Fixing or Expressing?

If you can not make sense of what I am trying to say,  just go ahead and read the post.


I lived that way

It was my way of living. Fixing Myself! I lived that way for years. I worked very hard on myself. Yes, Hard On Myself!! I was never happy with whatever I created. I would search for the reasons to prove to me that the work could still be better!

It was comfortable

The process was somehow helping me survive with my Low Self-esteem. I believed deeply inside me that it was the Correct way of Living. I was always protected. No major difficulties. Yet, no excitement and no feeling of growth.

Every day was predictable. Even problems in life could be managed by Blaming Me! I could always find something inside me to Fix and then would spend days in correcting.

I believed that if I could learn how the mind worked I would overcome my Low Self-esteem. I did not realize for a long period that I was trapped by Myself! My mind was making me fool and I continued to remain in the state that was comfortable and known to me. Ofcourse, I did not have to face Change. I did not have to explore the Unknown.

Never complete Continue Reading →