Most of us have a tendency (Ego-driven) to look for the things that are not working in our lives. I think it is because we are conditioned to work towards improving our lives. We are taught to look for the faults with us, find the cause behind them and Fix them.
I agree that it is ok to have an approach to know what can be improved in our lives and grow by learning in the process. However, in the process, if we forget to look at the things that are already working well, we are missing something important in our personal growth.
For some, life’s focus is on Lack
I know some people in my life, who are focused on what they lack in their lives, more than what they already have. The focus for them is to zoom in the areas that are not going well. They complain about how unlucky they are, how bad others around them are and how things do not go well even if they work hard.
I see this pattern in many of my clients in my counselling practice too. If I look at their lives from the perspective of an outsider, I can find events, people and reasons for them to Be Grateful.
Focus on what is already working in your life
I am of an opinion to give more importance to what is already working in our lives than finding out what is not working and fixing them. I have logical reasons and experiences to back it up and explain.
Being Grateful helps you become Resourceful
I know that you will agree with me that when we are in good mood, we can work for a long period of time without getting tired. Our productivity is more in this state of mind. We are more creative and get the solutions which can be very remote when we do not feel good about the overall way our lives are going.
So, this proves that if we really want to be solution-focused and produce more from our resources we need to be in the productive state of mind.
Now let us ask ourselves-
When can I be in a happy state of mind?
Is it when I focus on what I lack in my life or
Is it when I think about the people and events to be thankful for?
Surely, for me the answer is immediate and without any conflict that I feel satisfied and happy when I focus on what I already have and working well in my life than focusing on what I lack (ofcourse in comparision with others!). This awareness motivated me to Consciously look around for the Evidences to feel grateful about my current life situations.
I feel great as I become thankful
My feeling state immediately improves as I think about the reasons to feel grateful. These are simple things, events and people:
I thank God for keeping me alive to reach upto this stage in my journey called Life
I feel grateful about my Body. I have all my limbs, eyes and ears working well! Wow! I am lucky!
I thank the Source for giving me some tough times in my life as learning from those events have helped me explore my Resources and now I am better equipped at handling those situations. I even use my learning to help my clients get better outcomes in their issues.
Some can argue here that if we focus more on things that are working well in our lives, we stop working hard improving ourselves, remain with our limitations, stop growing and so in the long run, we become non-productive.
I do not agree. In my opinion, it is not working hard and under pressure, but doing your job happilly and creatively produce in a long run, the life you truly want. Under pressure and in an attempt to improve your condition, primarily you are not happy in a first place. This unhappiness makes your process of creating your desired-life Burden-some and not enjoyable. In this process you can not carry for a long; instead you succumb inbetween to disapointment and frustration.
When you are happy in the first place (by being grateful about your life), you are more open to look at and accept your Limitations. You accept them as the skills to be learned not as an issue of your self-worth to be fixed.
Being grateful is difficult intially; Persisting helps
Initially it may be difficult for you to find more than couple of things to be thankful for in your current life circumstances. It happened to me too. It is also possible that in the begining, you may not find any benefits of Being Thankful other than temporarily feeling good. I suggest you to persist for some more time.
Few areas you can think of
Think about yourself: Your face, hair, skin color, stature, health in general.
Think about your education: How much you have studied, how much you know about certain things.
Think about the skills you are currently good at. Think about the people around you. Include your pets and maids also. Think about the neighbours and friends you have. Think about your house. Think deeply about your spouse and children.
It may also happen that thinking about some areas of what I have mentioned above, you may come across the real difficulties that you may be ignoring for a long . Do not worry. If it has been a pattern for you to look at the Darker Side of your life for a long, you may initially encounter with the same. It is like the mind acts as a filter and makes you see only what is not working. However, at this point, let me tell you that persisting with an intention to find reasons to Be Grateful, a new awareness will pop up into your Consciousness.
This has happened with me and I am sure that it is true for you too!
Do not hesitate to share your experiences.
Have a Resourceful Life ahead!